Today is Valentine’s Day

I need to tell Mary how lucky I truly am.   I’m not talking about how lucky I feel about my recovery from the various surgeries; I mean how lucky I am to have her in my life, to have her love me.  Why do I find it so difficult to just tell her how much I love her?  Why?  Maybe I was never given a good role model to follow.  My dad was a good man, but he wasn’t the demonstrative type.  I always suspected that he loved me, and as proof, I offer up that he was the man who cared for me after my motorcycle accident, but that is just one anecdotal example that forms a basis for my suspicions.  Mary was and is the one who cared for me after all my surgeries.  That is clear to me, but I know that there are myriad other examples of the fact that she loves me.  Her domestic skills on my behalf, her willingness to put up with my craziness are two perfect examples.  Anyway, here goes, Mary, I LOVE YOU! 

If we could look in the face of that person with whom we are arguing and see that younger face and see the hurt that we are causing, we’d all be better off.  We all need to look past the lust of youth and look to the things that make a marriage as time goes by.  Maybe, just maybe, if the people who decry gay marriage would return to the roots of their own marriages and look at the things that they felt when they were dating or courting, or whatever they call it, then maybe they would recognize how they felt in those heady times. 

There is always plenty of time for hate and war and derision, but it seems as though we don’t make time to enjoy those things and people that we love, those things that we call life.  One of those things is spousal love, which goes well beyond the love that we feel when we are young.  If people would recognize that finding someone to love and someone who will return that love is always a chancy event, I believe that we would find peace and tolerance there.  If you are lucky, you find love once in your life.   If that person is of another gender, that’s great.  If that person is of another race, that’s wonderful too.  If that person is of the same gender, then, you are just as fortunate.  Who are we to judge others by our own, often flawed set of standards?   I think, and this is my own opinion, that what we fail to see is that we have our own insecurities, our own biases, our own prejudices, driving our feelings.  Instead of rejoicing in diversity, that which makes us human, we expect others to come over to our way of thinking, or believing, or feeling.  Good Christians know that it is not our place to judge.  Instead, we should heed that biblical admonition that states, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

I’d really like Mary to know that when I hear her speak and watch her do her crafty things, that I see that young woman that I married nearly thirty-nine years ago.  To me, it seems like a much shorter time.  I’ve gotten older, she has gotten better.  By nature, I’m more conservative, whereas Mary is far more open and forgiving.  She has taught me what love is.  I know that as you age, you lose time perspective, but I also know that for me, I would never have made it this far without Mary at my side.  In one of my recent Blogs, I described how envious I was of Adam and Steph, how I wished I had once in a while taken the other path as they often do.  But alas, I didn’t, so maybe my time is now.  I have no regrets, just additional hope.  I shall see.

Mary, I LOVE YOU! 

Jack